Hit by a car

Sorry I haven’t posted recently…a few weeks ago my friend and I were hit by a car when walking across a crosswalk. So needless to say, I’ve been a bit stressed and didn’t feel much like posting.

I haven’t been able to work out since the accident, since I was concussed and get very dizzy still. I want to start running again soon. I can feel my progress slipping away. And it doesn’t help that I’ve been stuck home on bed rest. I get very bored, and I’m a bored eater and a bored cooker. This means I will either eat a lot of fatty cheeses and things or I will make cookies and brownies and eat them.

To help motivate myself I made a photo, one of myself and then I photoshopped it to what I want to be. I’ll post it below. As you can see, I have made some progress from my original background photo, but it’s still not what I want to be.

Going through something

Hey guys, so sorry I haven’t been posting. I’m going through something right now. I can’t tell you about it yet, but I can tell you guys when it’s all over. I’ll try to continue posting as much as possible, but I am very busy with work, this unnamed thing, and getting ready for school…unfortunately i haven’t had the time to exercise like I want too. I have lost about 4 pounds tho so that’s good 😀

Biking

I went on a 6 mile bike ride yesterday , round trip. My friend and I decide to bike to our local lake. I am now very sunburned and sore, but it was worth it. I probably won’t bike anytime soon though, that was a bit much biking for me.

Today I’m just relaxing and recovering from biking up a mountain. I’ll upload a few photos from the bike ride as well. Talk to you guys soon!

Workouts are paying off!

Yesterday I went on another gorgeous hike (photos below). Unfortunately I fell off of a large rock and scratched up my back and legs a lot. I also went to the movies yesterday, and got water and a small pack of twizzlers (much better than my usual soda and popcorn).

Today I went for a run before work. I also ate very healthily throughout the day, although I have not yet had dinner. I still have not weighed myself but i can tell that my clothes are a bit looser and my legs look a tad thinner. It’s not enough that anyone else would notice but I can see the change. I am very busy with work right now but I will do my best to keep you updated 🙂

Sorryyyy

I haven’t posted in a bit because nothing significant has happened. I’ve been very busy with work and friends so I haven’t had time to work out like want to

I have been eating much healthier though. I have not weighed myself recently. I am not going to weigh myself until I can tell I have had a significant change. Anyway, I’ll write again soon, hopefully with something much more interesting than this. Sorry again to the few followers I have!!

Hiking :)

Well today I decided instead of running or swimming I would go hiking before work. I’m actually sitting under the waterfall I hiked to right now as I’m typing this. I’ll try to figure out how to upload a photo or two. This is a hike I have done often and so instead of the trail I scrambled up a cliff in a pair of flip flops. When I got to the top I was applauded by tourists haha.

Anyway, so far I think I am sticking to my plan very well. Of course, I’m only a few days in, but intend to see this through and make a life style change about my eating and exercise.

My Plan

I will be skinny. I will be in shape. I don’t know what has happened to me. I am just so lethargic, all the time. But no more.

I will run at least 5 days a week. I will swim laps after work, especially on days I do not run. I will eat healthy, and every time I have the urge to eat something unhealthy I will drink a large glass of water instead.

I know this is a short post, but it’s okay. I have a good excuse. I am getting up early to run before work tomorrow. Goodnight, to the 3 people who read this. I am going to go get enough sleep that I can continue to lose weight tomorrow.

Addiction

Did you know you can be addicted to food? It’s true, I’ve researched it. In America we have so many good tasting foods that release dopamine in the brain, and to continue to have that release we eat more. As it goes on we have to eat more food to get the same amount of dopamine.

Unfortunately, unlike cigarettes or alcohol, you can’t quit food cold turkey. We need food to stay alive. You’ll eat breakfast and still want more food so that you can release more dopamine.

This is my problem. And as addictions go, food isn’t so bad. I could be a lot worse off. And no, I am not trying to say I have the same hardships as a meth addict or something like that. It’s just something I know about myself.

Today I struggled a lot. I woke up with a plan for what I was going to eat in what amount. This completely went out the window when my dad surprised me by taking me out to lunch. I was fairly healthy, and had a portobello mushroom sandwich, but the creamy sauce was not as healthy. It also made me want more unhealthy foods.

I know I will slip up sometimes. Sometimes I will have a creamy mushroom sandwich I did not plan on. But regardless, I will continue to change for the better.

I am fat.

I am fat.

It is simply a fact. People tell me I am just curvy, whatever blah blah blah.

And no. This is not so I can get attention. This is is anonymous for a reason.  This is so for once, for once in my life, I can follow through with something.

I know I am fat. Its kind of hard to consider yourself anything but when you get blisters from your thighs rubbing together if you wear a skirt.  And yes, that is me in the background.  It is not there for you to mock, or for you to say I dont need to lose weight.  It is there so that I can be reminded of what I am, and so that I can work to change.  No one will probably read this anyway. That doesnt matter. This is for me.

I am currently about 155lbs.  This will change. It will change.  It has to.

And, to help me change I created this blog and 12:54 am on a Thursday night.  The Epitome of Control.  I will control this part of my life.  I will become happy with my weight.  Other parts of my life are out of my control.  But this I will control, if only this.

And so, I am fat.  If you only check this blog once more, check back in a few months.  I will be changed.